Saturday, July 19, 2014

The one with the spring & summer of bittersweet celebrations...

In exactly 6 weeks--May 10th to June 27th--all 3 of us graduated: me from my graduate program at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill,

Jayson from Kindergarten, 

& last but not least, Jonathan from his residency program at Cabarrus Family Medicine.

It's been a busy couple of months as we have celebrated with family, friends, & friends-like-family & these celebrations mark the end of a long journey for Jonathan & I.  You see, through the duration of our relationship--which is approaching the 10 year mark OH MY STARS--either Jonathan or I, or both of us, have been in school.  We began our courtship as I was beginning my undergraduate nursing program & he was applying to medical schools.  Fast forward almost 10 years & we now have lots of ancillary initials behind our names, delineating what the world says we can do as professionals.  And we are so very, very grateful for these journeys as they have challenged us as individuals & a couple.  We have learned how to love & support each other as we have pursued each of our God-given professional roles.  We have learned how to put the other's needs above our own.  We have learned the sacrifices it takes to accomplish dreams.  We have learned to lean fully on God, trusting Him to place us where He wants us. 

And now the lessons will continue, though they will look different for our entire family.  I started my graduate studies the month Jayson moved home with us--in hindsight, this was probably not the most brilliant idea, but God opened the door & provided the support we needed to make it work.  So now we get to learn how to relate to each other without the pressures of school or residency.  Yay!  It's like we're getting a fresh lease on life & we are very thankful to be in this season of Sabbath. 

So this should be the best summer of our lives right?  We have so many wonderful things going on in our lives & please hear me, we are so.very.grateful. for each & every one of these blessings!!

The bittersweet part for us is that we're stuck in "the wait." 

It's not exactly original, but "the wait," for those of you who have not experienced it's heartbreak & joy, is probably our least favorite part of the adoption process.  The last time we were here we waited a full calendar year for DSS to finally grant us permission for Jayson to move home with us--but that's a whole other post!  This time, the details of the wait are different but the challenges & emotions are much the same.  We requested the file of our soon-to-be 5 year old son a year ago.  And we have waited.  Waited to hear something, anything, stating they have documented his story & are ready to release it to us so we can formally tell the government that we want to adopt him.  During the wait, God surprised us with our 2 year old son.  We had already started our paperwork chase for our 5 year old, which now puts us closer to bringing our 2 year old home.  So during the wait, adoptive families chase paperwork: all sorts of paperwork.  Birth certificates, background checks, financial records, employment confirmations, passports, & medical labwork & examinations.  We've chased a lot of papers from here to Raleigh, Washington, & Atlanta.  The UPS guys know us by name :)

Our paperwork is completely out of our hands now, so our hands are 'empty' while we wait. 

Here in lies the most difficult part for this Mama.

Having been here before, we have somewhat of an idea of what lies ahead of us.  Challenges of the transition, sleepless nights, scared little boy(s) who do not understand what we're saying to them or that we love them.  But we will take them & embrace them, because they will be here.  And so, the many celebrations have been wonderful to keep us busy & help keep our minds off the things we cannot change: we have waited a year & our boys are still not with us.  There are millions of children, just like ours waiting for someone to love them.  The money it will take to bring them home.  The Super Typhoon that is headed their way as I type.  So many things that are out of our control.

And there is a lesson here for this Mama. 

 So I will cling to my mustard seed & trust Him.  And I am grateful that you are journeying with us.

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